Analyzing Writing VII – Graveyard Shift in Night Shift

Results

This tells the story of a crew who are sent in to clean out the basement of a clothing mill during the graveyard shift (late at night).  Soon, they begin encountering rats of increasing sizes until they come upon a trapdoor that leads to the rat Queen.

Moments vs. Entirety

This is something that I have realized slowly the more I read. Fitzgerald uses this style in The Great Gatsby. It takes a story and tells it chronologically, but doesn’t tell every single minute detail of the entire story. It skips entire parts and only tells the important plot parts. Think of the Michael Fasbender Steve Jobs movie or Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (movie and some of the book).

Basically, stuff happens in between two main points, but it isn’t that important to the plot, so the stuff is not talked about. Alternatively, the stuff may be mentioned during the main points by a character talking about them.  This can be used when you want to build up tension by leaving the reader in the dark.  Two characters know something that the audience doesn’t until the end.

This is something where I think I can definitely develop as a writer.  I feel like I have to write about every single moment that exists in my story and eventually start self-doubting because the stuff that isn’t important to the plot bores me.  So, I think it would be beneficial to use this narrative structure with certain stories.

Short Story Ending

This story ends with the group that was left behind following the group that had just gone down, which you know isn’t going to turn out any better for them than the previous group.  This ending fits with the momentary narrative style that he uses because it skips over what we can assume happens, just like the narrative does.  As readers, we are almost 100% positive that this new group is going to die a horrible death just like the previous people.

Confusion

This is my own confusion regarding the plot.  The main character has a feeling that his boss is somehow connected to the rats, but that idea is never really addressed in this short story.  I would do something like either the boss is a servant of the rat Queen or perhaps the main character is, so its a twist ending.

What I think I would do would be he sacrifices his boss because the rat Queen that he serves wants him and she then turns on him as well.  There are a lot of things that I could do to fulfill this part.

So, that is an important aspect to realize.  And this happened in Salem’s Lot as well, where an idea is introduced, but never fulfilled narratively.  So, I am going to write down ideas that I have introduced so I can delete them in the revision process.  However, these ideas could reach fulfillment in a sequel book or short story.

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